Issues
by the maids diaries
Summary: Jane has thoughts about her relationships with Alexander and Lovejoys and wonders about her own feelings for them.
1. Chapter 1

**Please, just try to ignore all my grammar mistakes. I'm not a nature English speaker and could not find a beta reader for this one (if you want to help with that I would be glad LOL).**

_**Issues**_

**Chapter 1**

Jane took a deep breath slowly, letting the air expand her lungs as Alexander said his usual phrase _"I have to go to ..."._ His destination no longer mattered, only the implication of a new journey disturbed with her nerves.

She swallowed the urge to start a mad speech about how irresponsible it was to have a trip at that date in particular, but what good that would do? None. Everything was urgent, his business, his travels, not her. Jane could wait for her husband. After all, this was her function, wasn't?

She clenched her fists and swallowed all urgiam words in her mouth, trying to be as reasonable as possible. Well, there was nothing reasonable in the situation and perhaps the best option would actually start yelling at her husband. But if he did not care about_ their birthday,_ she would not do that either.

The idea of a dinner party with some friends was his, people just tolerable for her and now he was paying to hop on a plane and leave her with everything in her hands. What is the purpose of celebrating a wedding anniversary when her husband is not present?

Being with him had been so difficult, their time together had become so scarce, and yet he seemed not even bother with it. Sometimes it made Jane believe that he no longer loved her, but these thoughts ran out of her head every time he come back home. She was being foolish, of course Alexander loved her.

Questions filled her head and she let herself sink into the chair, resting her chin on one hand, without looking at Alexander. What was upsetting her? The fact he was about to travel again or the fact that perhaps they were deceiving each other continuing with their marriage like that? Their marriage seemed to walk in a slack rope. She bit her lower lip rapidly, an unconscious reflection.

"If you do not want to be alone tonight ask for Lovejoy! I bet you'll end up having more fun in his company than in mine." The open suitcase on the bed was filled quickly by pieces of clothing and personal belongings. Jane crossed her arms, throwing her husband a hard look.

"This is not the question, Alexander. I'm married to you, not to Lovejoy!" She retorted in bad mood. She knew, deep down, that he just proposed that to make her happy, a little bit; or perhaps to distract her, after all Lovejoy filled the void that he left, always.

_Lovejoy fills all the time now._ An annoying little voice said inside her head.

"So you really have more fun with him than with me." He left the last piece of clothing falls into the suitcase and put his hands on his hips, studying her with attention.

"Sure, you're never here with me! I barely have seen lately, you are always travelling somewhere else." Jane felt her face flush slightly, it was clear that she enjoyed more with Lovejoy, there was no doubt about it.

"The blame is yours. How many times have I asked you to come with me? You always prefer to stay here playing treasure hunt with that failed." Alexander closed his countenance, becoming gloomy. An accurate and unexpected blow had struck him, she knew that. Something about the way his lips curved demonstrated his dissatisfaction, and not only with the situation.

_He already does not like so much of you, Janey._ This time the little irritating voice sounded a lot like Lovejoy, making her shift her position, feeling uncomfortable.

"This is not true, we went to New York together"

"Oh, New York, and why was that?" He was right and that was undeniable, she had gone with him to New York because well, it was New York! "You should feel ashamed, Jane. People have commented about you and your precious little friend."

"Oh... don't you dare! You know very well that between me and Lovejoy just exist friendship. "

"Really?"

The doubt in the eyes of Alexander who once would have killed her, today only served to create a storm in her chest. How could he say something? Feeling like this? She was the neglected part of the couple, not him. It was her who was at the mercy of Lovejoy, conducive to his advances. But above all, it was her who resisted the temptation, and Alexander knew it.

Jane's eyes narrowed dangerously and her lips parted. She filled her lungs with air, ready to dump all her frustration over her husband. He was not the only dissatisfied. Sparks did Jane's blue eyes even more bright as she looked dangerously at her husband. But it was worth? She certainly would not feel relieved and he would leave that evening... Jane chose not to bother, just left the room slamming the door behind her, and went downstairs.

"Jane, forgive me." He came running after her, as he always did. All in favor of peace in their relationship. It seems like he really cared.

"You're being ridiculous, you know that."

"No, I'm not. You can only feel friendship for Lovejoy, but I doubt that he feels just the same." Alexander's hands held her upper arms stopping her at the living room's door, gently turning her body so that they could stay face to face.

Jane avoided her husband's gaze. Alexander would be right? What about her and her feelings? She could no longer say with full assurance that everything she felt for Lovejoy was only friendship and it frightened her. In recent months, despite disagreements with Alexander, who occupied all her thoughts was her friend, all the time, from the moment she wake up every morning till the moment she lay her head on the pillow. Lovejoy visited her even in her dreams! This was getting complicated, more and more complicated.

"I do not like him, don't like his fame and I like even less time you spend together, but I trust you and know how much you like him, for that I cannot do anything. Call him and ask for his company."

"It's you who should be here, this party has no meaning without you." She said in a low tone of voice.

"I know and I'm sorry about it, Jane." Was he? Really?

"Are you sure about I call Lovejoy?" Jane bit her lower lip, and raised her eyes to look at her husband while she smoothed the front of his shirt.

"Everything to make you happy, my dear." His lips found the skin of her forehead and he quickly gave a half smile before releasing her and climb into their bedroom, leaving her alone with her own thoughts.

**TBC… or not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**N/A: Sorry the delay with this one! **It's not beta'd again, but I think you can understand the whole thing even with my mistakes and misplaced words.**  
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**Chapter 2**

When she awoke in the morning Jane found herself alone. Apparently Alexander was already gone, leaving on his space in bed a velvet box. She turned aside, pushing the covers quickly and opened the box. A brand new diamond necklace shone bright in her hands. He was always so predictable, jewelry from birthdays, perfumes from his trips. Alexander didn't even seem to try to be more original with his gifts anymore.

Anyway, she got up from bed and admired the necklace under the skin of her collarbone, running her fingers over the stones gently. It would perfectly match with the dress that she had separated for the night, she thought.

Putting aside the necklace, Jane combed her hair carefully, recalling the discussion between her and her husband hours before. Alex was right on many points, but how to explain it to him? _"__I don't want __to accept that__I may be__confused__about my__feelings for__Lovejoy_." This would be the most sincere explanation, but too sincere, even coming from her. Alex did not need to know her doubts, not yet, not until she was able to make her choices. No, Alex wouldn't ever know about it. Right.

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><p>"Lovejoy?" She asked as she heard the phone came off-hook.<p>

"No, it's Cindy; who is it?" The voice on the other side was definitely feminine and Jane felt something rising through her throat, a heat uncontrollable, a unbearable constriction. What was that?

"I want to talk to Lovejoy, please; it's Lady Jane Felsham." She said with the most polite and formal tone she could. Jane waited in line for a few second, hearing strange noises, and she would rather not even try to imagine from they were.

Since when Lovejoy was dating someone? He hadn't said anything to her... But when he told her about these things anyway? It would have been just a night or he would start a relationship with this... What was her name again? Jane took a deep breath, trying to be as cooler as possible.

"Janie" Lovejoy sounded excited across the line.

She set the phone to her ear properly. Even just the sound of Lovejoy's voice was enough to make her smile, especially when he said her name. There was something in the way that he says her name that made her melted and... She interrupted her own thoughts and said with her voice slightly squeaky: "Who is… What's her name…? Anyway, who is she?"

"A friend." His tone was cautious in answering. Maybe he was looking for rescue? Not likely, he knew very well how to get rid of undesirable companies himself (at least most of the times). Maybe he did not want her to know he was with someone. _Could be._

"Humph..." she muttered. Was she jealousy? Was she jealous of Lovejoy? Yes, of course she was. "I need you to get over here, as soon as possible." Jane continued speaking with the tone slightly demanding, almost bossy.

"Do you need me now?" Jane knew that tone of voice of Lovejoy. He seemed pleased, like he wanted to escape. _Don't fool yourself__Jane__!_ She wanted that he was trying to escape, and that couldn't be the truth. And probably wasn't.

She thought for some seconds. There were two options. The first one was let him decide here he wanted to be, or, the second one, give him a reason to want to be with her. Jane didn't need to think too much about that.

"If you can... But if you're too busy right now I guess I can wait until you have time for me and spend whole morning sunbathing by myself. Unless you want to join me and we could discuss some important matters that I know I can trust only in you to help me." She was flirting with him, openly. Oh god, that was not good, not good at all!

"Is Alex at home?" He asked with a whisper.

"No." Jane blushed violently trying to imagine what was going on in Lovejoy's head and held a satisfied grin, of course he was coming after that.

Lovejoy was silent for a few seconds. Jane could imagine his green eyes moving from side to side as he created an excuse, analyzed his alternatives and made his choice. The phone suddenly became muffled, he certainly should have covered the speaker with his hand and the sound of muffled cries of "Cindy" reached Jane's ears. She smiled.

"I'm on my way."

_Great, let's change!_

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><p><em><strong>reviews are welcomed :D<strong>  
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